I have some thoughts that I want to share as I sit here on the eve of moving into my third home in a town that i've only lived in for 8 months. Please disregard the inevitable rambling to ensue...
Three weeks ago today I came home from a work assignment to find that my house had been broken into. The past three weeks have been kind of a blur as i've dealt with police reports, insurance claims and dotting all the i's and t's in filling out the paperwork to move into my new apartment. One thing that has not been a blur is how loud the voice of God has been to me through this whole process. I didn't have to look far to find His hand calming me in the midst of the madness.
I can't really explain the utter fear that went through me when I looked at the muddy footprint on my front door and saw that my door was ajar. I sat in my car for about 30 minutes waiting for the police, my mind spinning wondering what was gone, what was damaged and trying to figure out how I was ever going to sleep/feel safe in this house again. As I walked through my house and saw my belongings thrown about I was overwhelmed to say the least. I felt attacked by the same people that I felt called to reach and I immediately started doubting that I was in the place I should be. That evening I couldn't leave South Carolina quick enough. I wanted to be home, I wanted to be with my family and I wanted to run far and fast away from all that had happened. That weekend I dreaded Sunday morning because I knew that I would have to go back to South Carolina and back to unknown circumstances. I had no idea where I was going to live and what I was going to do about moving out of my home that I had just moved into 4 weeks earlier.
Sunday morning, against my own desires, I got in my car at 4:30am and headed back to South Carolina. All day Sunday I was surrounded by people who asked me how I was and offered any help they could offer. I was overwhelmed at the sincerity of the people that God had placed around me. The message at church that day was exactly what I needed to hear. The statement that caught my attention the most was that if you've felt attacked that it's just the enemy trying to distract you from what God has called you to because the enemy knows that you're on the brink of a break through and he wants to distract you from that. I felt in my heart that God was speaking straight to me in that statement. I felt as if He was saying that He knows what I'm going through and that I just need to keep going. As I meditated on that thought throughout the week I found myself coming back to this truth...that Jesus was attacked by the same people that He came to save but he chose to forgive and keep true to His purpose. I am called to be like Christ and to mirror the examples He set and I have no other choice but to pick up the pieces of what happened and keep moving. Doubting myself and doubting my calling is exactly what the enemy wanted and I can't let that happen.
God has surrounded me with the most amazing reminders of his love throughout this entire process. From co-workers, friends and family helping me pick my stuff up and pack up my stuff to the offers of rooms to stay until my apartment became open; God has proved over and over what Romans 8 promises in verse 31, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" What the enemy meant to tear me down, God has used to build me up to place higher than where I was before. Even though I don't fully understand why this happened or the full extent of the good to come from it I know that God has taught me so much about Himself and if God allowed this to happen in order to get my attention and teach me some things then that is fine with me. I am a better person because of it and I will take what i've learned and apply that to situations I face in the future.
This song that we've been singing recently at church has become my anthem. You can listen to it here. It is called You Make Me Brave and the lyrics of this song call out to me where I am and remind me that God makes me brave, he calls me out of my comfort so that I can experience more of Him, more of his Grace and Love, more than I ever though possible. At the core, once you strip away the layers of emotion and uncertainty, I have seen God work in my life in ways that I would have never been able to see if the robbery hadn't happened; it's through that light that I can safely say that my house being broken into was a good thing. Without it I wouldn't have had the opportunity to see God work miraculously in my life and I can walk forward knowing that God is for me, He wants the best for me and that the best is always yet to come.
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